A pious Wife treats her Husband like a King, and loves him like a Prince... But she needs to keep on reminding him that he is a slave of ALLAH !
Gulp. Treating him like a King and loving him like a Prince?
T.T May Allah gives me strength and effort to do my very best, insyaAllah.
Lately, I try to spend my times reading few materials talking about marriage life, and sincerely I found them scary.
So much new things I've to learn and get my mind ready to adopt before exploring the real world by my own self. Marriage is not like something that you can play with, nor a game that you can just try it and error.
Once you're in, you'll never have a day for excuse. They say,
"Marriage is a school without a break or holidays, you have to attend it everyday without a sick leave!".
"Sometimes you will feel like not attending class, yet, you have to. When tempted to quit, find courage and continue."
Once again. Gulp.
"Still it is one of the best schools on earth: joy, peace and happiness accompany each lesson of the day. Different subjects are offered in this school, yet love is the major subject".
a really marvellous one.
insyaAllah, never stop to learn. Do not forget to study, study and study the Nobel Book and by listening to the older's experiences. It's never too late to revise as if you find that you're doing something wrong, right?
Oh ya, I got with me another precious mother's words which is really a good reminder to be ponder during this pre-marriage period.
Here, love to share it with you, girls . =)
‘Abd al-Malik (RA) said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother, Umamah came into her, to advise her and said:
‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.
‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.
‘O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.
‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.
‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.
‘The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.
‘The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.
‘The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.
‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.
‘Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgement whilst the latter will make him unhappy.
‘Show him as much honour and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.
‘Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah choose what is best for you and protect you.”
Jamharah Khutah al-‘Arab, 1/145
this kind of wife, I shall be, insyaAllah =)
Really have to get myself attending an intensive class especially in training me to get use preparing the foods ON TIME! It means, 3 times per a day.
Sigh. Actually, I have a problem
Grasping each meanings of this advice brought me closer to the hadith of,
"Ibn Hibban narrated that the Prophet PBUH said, "If a woman prayed the five prayers, fasted in Ramadan, protected her honour and obeyed her husband; then she will be told (on the Day of Judgement): enter Paradise from any of its (eight) doors."
Sounds so easy right? But tell you, it needs so much struggles and encourages to serve him the best for THE REST of YOU LIFE. Plus if it comes when you have your children to be care of, plus your huge burdens in office work, plus your timeless of spending time for yourself, your family and in laws, plus at time of thunder storms between you and your spouse , plus and plus.
No wonder, Allah will grants you a PARADISE if you can do it well, Hasna'! MasyaAllah. =')
Some tests and exams may be tough but insyaAllah He knows how much you can bear. So, start to prepare yourself towards the challenges life!
"Dear stranger, soon you'll be part of my life so, please be nice to me!" =)
-each time calling mum, she will remind me the same reminder;
"Persiapan barang-barang dan baju tidak penting, paling penting persiapan hati, minda dan fizikal untuk masuk dalam alam perkahwinan..
Masalah akan berlaku jika kita tidak bersedia kerana alam ini masuk dan tidak keluar-keluar melainkan dengan penceraian. Berdoa banyak-banyak dan belajar untuk hidup berdua. Belajar untuk saling menerima kelemahan dan kekurangan. Kita berkahwin ini bukan nak yang baik-baik sahaja, kita perlu menerima satu pakej lengkap, kelebihan dan kekurangan.
Dan juga belajar untuk bersedia menambah tugasan dan tanggungjawab. Kawin bukan nak senang. Kawin ini membuatkan kehidupan kita semakin sibuk. Suami, anak-anak, keluarga baru. Sebab tu dapat pahala dengan berkahwin. Tapi kalau tidak bersedia, nak senang je..nak seronok je.. memang tak lama la..
Berapa ramai anak-anak muda yang kita kenal, Allah uji dengan perkahwinan. Berapa pasang yang kita pernah pergi kenduri mereka sekarang ini telah bercerai dan sedang dalam proses penceraian..".
Thank you mum!
Teringat juga pesan bonda, "perkara paling penting dalam memulakan pernikahan dan sepanjang jalan melaluinya ialah TAUBAT". T.T
-Banyak lagi perkara yang perlu saya belajar in these few months! Semoga Allah permudahkan insyaAllah.
-Sebelum apa-apa, focus pada 2 sem ini. Allah nilai kesungguhan, jadi kena lebih bersungguh! Doakan saya teman!
-mohon diabaikan grammatical errors, lantaran sudah berzaman saya meninggalkan english writing. sobs.